Forgiveness anyone?

In this unprecedented time we live, the creation of debt has captured my thinking. At the time of this blog USA Today is charting unemployment at a record 15-20% with a huge quantity filing weekly. Small businesses can apply for a loan to keep workers employed for 8 weeks and then have the loan totally forgiven.

Forgiveness. What an incredible and thoroughly biblical concept. Sounds so wonderful. We love to be forgiven. Extending forgiveness, that one is a little more tricky. Yet, as a pastor and counselor I cannot state (even with a megaphone) how pervasive and far reaching this problem is.

Don't believe me? Here's a litmus test. Ask yourself or someone you know the following question: "Is there anyone you can think of that you have something against OR has something against you?" If the answer is "yes" read on. If it is "no" maybe read on for the friend you are asking for 😏

What is FORGIVENESS?
Sin is part of the human experience, we cannot escape it. Therefore, we will sin against others and they against us. "Duh Doug. That's not rocket science," you may muse internally. "Why does it matter?" It matters because all sin creates a debt. To forgive means that you choose not to collect that debt.

Years ago there was a friend I had who fell on very hard times. My wife and I began giving the man meals on occasion and helping out in any way we could. During this time he lost his transportation to work. Reasoning that my job was an easy commute with a bike I offered our second car. The gentleman drove it for months. Finally the time came for him to move on and he simply left my car in the driveway with the key in the ignition, not even a "thank you." I was happy to have it back... until I looked it over. The inside was trashed; including drug paraphernalia tucked neatly under the passenger floor mat. The outside had yellow road paint all along the wheel wells and splattered on the side.

I was bothered and honestly a little hurt. Something had to be done. The paint needed fixed, the car needed a detailing inside and out. A debt had been created because someone took advantage of my kindness. I have two options: one, call him up and demand he pay. Two, absorb the cost of repair myself. I went with option two: I chose, as Timothy Keller puts it, to engage in a "voluntary form of suffering" by absorbing the cost. There is no forgiveness without suffering. Just look at Jesus...

Jesus on FORGIVENESS
At this point you may be thinking I was soft on my friend and that he was the one who should be seeking my forgiveness for what he did to me. You would be technically right but perhaps spiritually bankrupt in your answer. You see Jesus, in Matthew 6:12 and 18:21-35, illustrates how sin creates debt and must be forgiven. It is impossible for me NOT to feel as though my friend "owes" me something. What do you do in this case? Who goes "first?" so to speak? Who pays?

The answer is... you do. "Really, this guy has treated me horrible as his employee and you want me to forgive?" OR "I was so wounded by the leadership of this church that I could never forgive them unless they come to me first admitting fault?" OR "I mistreated my wife and deeply hurt her and I don't think I could bear going to her right now?" Again, I love the way Keller states this:

"Matthew 5:23–26 tells us we should go to someone if we know they have something against us. Matthew 18:15–20 says we should approach someone if we have something against them. In short, if any relationship has cooled off or has weakened in any way, it is always your move."

Now, truth to life, lets consider a few questions on forgiveness before we move to how in the next post:

1. When you consider not approaching someone who has hurt you what might be some of your reasons? Are those reasons more about self-preservation, having the last word, wanting to have some "upper hand?" OR are there other factors broader than the scope of this blog?
2. Has someone asked you for forgiveness that you simply have not granted? 
1. How's that working for you? Are you finding yourself less bitter and more connected to Jesus by the Holy Spirit's comfort OR more convicted? 
3. The most instrumental piece to consider is this: If all sin creates a debt and it's only solution is the voluntary suffering of Christ; have I sought forgiveness from God, through Jesus Christ's willing sacrifice on the cross for MY SIN? 
1. Secondarily, is there a particular sin that I think is hidden and unknown to God that by  confessing it brings me great shame? IF this is true of you I'm gonna give you a hint... He KNOWS and He STILL LOVES You. 
2. You can find forgiveness! Admit your sin, confess your weakness to live right before God, and ask for His forgiveness TODAY! (Then read Psalm 103 - slowly)