Sometimes God answers with severity.

This afternoon I was sitting in the room with Jada while she slept - just listening to the rhythm of her breathing while praying about some of the decisions that face us.

As you may or may not know (depending on how often you check the blog) Jess and I finally named baby x . . . Pierce Anakin Rumbold. From the birth yesterday Jada and I went for testing which initially revealed Clear Cell Sarcoma of the Kidney - stage 1. I have been praying (along with Jess) about whether to forgo the radiation portion of the treatment in favor of reducing the overall toxicity to Jada's body and minimizing the impact on her ability to reproduce in the future. Some weighty issues to be sure up for consideration for a person of any age, but especially for a 5 yr old.

That being said, I began to contemplate God's timing and what He is trying to tell Jess and I. Just then another Dr. walked in...and honestly I don't remember his name (we have meet LOTS of people recently), but he asked if I had any questions. When I told him the gist of Jess and my thoughts on radiation he opened up a bit about how he has been praying for Jess, Jada, and I ever since this whole ordeal began. We prayed together and specifically we aimed at wisdom in handling the radiation. It was a sweet time of Christian fellowship in the truest sense (our bond truly was/is Christ).

Only 30 minutes later our oncologist shows up and says, "I have the full pathology in hand (up to this point he had initial results and not the printed full copy). The findings change two things," he said. "One, we can no longer say that Jada has stage one cancer. Because the tumor has punctured the renal cavity it has to be considered stage two." I was taken back, not sure how to process or what to feel - but that sensation is not new to us. Dr. Al continued, "this means that we no longer can drop the radiation as a variation in treatment - it IS the standard of treatment to administer the radiation." Ummm, ok, I see.

I returned to the room smiling at the grace of the Lord Jesus. Not 40 minutes previous I had prayed for wisdom that was not mine to help us make the decision. God openly reveals to us that our daughter's condition is slightly more serious and will require the radiation. Done. The decision is made thanks to God.

In the book of Job we discover that Job's friends really are not all that helpful. They had a faulty belief in what we would call the "retribution principle." The meaning is simply that they thought good get good from God, and bad get bad from God. Job must have done something wrong. So its to that end that all of their statements and intellect aim. Elihu, the youngest of Job's friends actually has a decent nugget to contribute to the discussion and its been on my heart all day and now that I am actually putting some stuff in writing, I see why.

In Job 32:7-8 it says," ⁷I said, 'Let days speak,and many years teach wisdom.'⁸But it is the spirit in man, the breath of the Almighty, that makes him understand." Elihu is making the case that experienced and learned men should speak first - then let the younger go next. I have been seeking the opinions of the medical community without truly consulting God. Once I dropped this faulty logic and picked up the "breath of the Almighty" God gave understanding sooner than expected. Now, the problem in this case is that the answer is not a nice piece of triple layer chocolate cake with a glass of milk to wash it down - its severe. Does His severity nullify His love and paternal care? Not at all. The Lord disciplines those He loves... He MUST love Jess and I (and Jada, Ollie, and Pierce) an awful lot.