Please don't take it away...

The freshness of day has dawned. The dew is still lightly wetting the ground which needs no saturation after the rains. The sun shines. Birds chirp. Bunnies hop across my yard searching for their next morsel. These and a thousand other gifts have already been "unwrapped" today.

But their lurks on the horizon, if honesty and transparency are actually in practice, something concerning. Haunting, perhaps.

"For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us" (Rom. 8:18). "That I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead" (Phil. 3:10-11).

No one wakes up in the morning and decides to get out of bed because a cold shower and a worthless breakfast awaits. Sure, there is duty in waking, but there is also delight. I know of no one who takes the sound the alarm clock makes (you know the sound, the one that can take you from a peaceful sleep to a racing heart in a matter of seconds) and creates a playlist on their iPod from it just to enjoy. Beds are warm, pillows are soft, covers are gentle and comforting. We set it up that way. We like comfort. Usually, it drives a great portion of our decisions. Not in a "path-of-least-resistance" way but in a "how-can-I-minimize-hardship" way. The crazy thing with comfort is that it provides a blanket of security... or so we think.

The concern that lurks on the horizon for me is that comfort would return. I know what you may be thinking, "Doug, comfort is nice - cushy couch, warm vacations, a nicely grilled burger, a car with no mechanical problems, and health...most of all health - would that not be nice? Is that not what you desire right now?" This is where it gets complicated. You see, the answer is yes and no. Kind of. Let me explain.

Yes, I want this to be over - I want normal. Yes, I desire something that is not constant. Yes, I would love to look at my daughter with hair and have friends over, and not go to clinic and a million other things we used to have.

HOWEVER

Normal is not what has caused us to love Jesus deeply. Comfy couches, well maintained cars, juicy burgers, and health are not the ingredients for perseverance. Predictable and visible are not what comprises HOPE and FAITH. So, while I desire this to be over and have a return to life as we once knew it - with a far greater degree of purpose and intent I don't want it over. I look on the horizon and I see that the removal of trial and suffering brings with it the potential for comfort and that scares me. I want to, as Paul says, "know you in your suffering." He does not say, "I want to know you when you feet were propped up and people served you grapes on a platter in the shade of willow tree."

Maybe you too echo with me this concern: "Lord, don't remove affliction simply because it is hard, give me a reprieve that I might catch my breath before I go deeper into knowing YOU!"

Routine of the Abnormal and the Living Words of GOD!

Clinic mornings are never my favorite and yesterday was no exception. However, as I am learning, our LORD usually lays me metaphorically on my back looking up with no hope in self-salvation before I will pay attention to a truth He must impart.

Jess and I had gone to bed on Monday night discussing Psalm 71-78 (I recommend you read them). Our habit lately is to use the Bible application on my phone (thank you brother Alan for getting me a phone which encourages me to look at JESUS), locate a passage, and select the "read aloud" option and have it read to us. This has been GREAT because it is the closest thing to routine we have going right now. Having arrived Psalm 78:7 which speaks of "setting hope in God" I began to ask Jess what that looks like for her right now. "I have never been so pressed for stillness and had so little of it - yet clinging to the little I do have." Quickly I agreed and added this metaphor:

Have you ever taken a towel that was sopping wet and tried to wring it out completely? God's word is so saturated with Goodness, Greatness, Grace and Glory that even one drop of it is sufficient. So it is that each morning I envision God's word as a sopping wet towel in which the Spirit wrings out just a drop and this is sufficient for me to live on for the day.

Return with me if you will to the morning visit to clinic in which Jada received her chemotherapy and some rather sour news that her counts (especially her hemoglobin) are critically low. This simply means that she is in need of yet another transfusion. The staff will reevaluate her blood-work again tomorrow and determine whether she will have a transfusion. Please pray RIGHT NOW for RISING COUNTS to the Glory of God!

Jada has become increasing soft and her comments generally necessitate a thoughtful response from me. As we got on the highway Jada says, "its crazy that people just throw trash out their window onto the ground dad." "I know sweetie, it does not show respect nor love for what God has given us to take care of does it?" Jada processes and replies, "yeah, and its against the law dad. Did you know dad that there are many laws - some that are even crazy?" "Sure, I knew that sweetie." She looks straight ahead and says, "dad the people that make laws make them for us to live and that is very nice of them. They are kind of like moms and dads because parents make laws at home to help us live."

I thought to myself "I wonder if she sees the connection between this and the commands and prohibitions in the Bible." While still in my own thoughts Jada says, "dad, remember yesterday when I did not listen to you and you spanked me?" "Yes." "That was good because so many people in the Bible had to learn the hard way like me. God loved them but he made laws," she said. "I know Jada, Jesus clearly told us that His words give life and that He himself is the way, truth and the life." I wanted to get her away from the term "laws" and help her see Jesus because he is the fulfillment of those laws (John 5:39).

He is our life, even in the routine of the abnormal.