Friday, January 14, 2011

no little disturbance

23About that time there arose no little disturbance concerning the Way.

Jada lies in her bed just 8 feet away from me - tossing and turning while at the same time gently moaning with abdominal pain; which I am told is a normal side effect for the chemo. There are few things more agonizing as a father than to watch your daughter do relatively well all day just to listen to her writhing in pain at night. It is, mind numbing and heart wrenching. Add to this that I met with a specialist today about wigs (for Jada's impending hair loss), gathered home health supplies for when we are discharged tomorrow, and learned that I have to personally administer 6 shots to Jada over the course of the next 6 days.

Jessica calls me after I learn of the shots (we had previously been told that Jada would not need to have any more "pokies,") and tells me she's having a hard morning but is sending Ollie over to see Jada and I. Ollie arrives and I go to grab him out of my aunt's van and I literally catch his vomit in my hands...an hour later he is home and has a fever of 102. Needless to say, when it rains it pours.

Now, if this were the end - it would be both sad and self-centered. However, I had a conversation on the phone tonight with someone who, after we were done and I had time to think about it, showed me a whole lot about God's process of refinement.

Everyone's hurting, right. I mean, look around you - there are divorces, children walking away from the Lord, job loss, broken family relationships and the list goes on. What Jess and I continue to discover in this journey is that God uses many things to get our attention - and until the cross-airs of my spiritual gaze are squared on Him I will continue to simply STARE down my issues and lament my existence. "Oh God, why me? Why did you have this lot fall on me? My life has been hard for too long."

Through it all my question is this: what is my intent in voicing MY LAMENT? A pat on the back and an anonymous donation (just an example - all monies will gladly be accepted) to help with the stress? The conversation tonight, and Acts 19:23 (above) have laid a heavy message on my heart that has been just working me over all evening - here's a peek...

Do we really believe we are part of THE WAY? I read all of chapter 19 in Acts and I challenge you to do the same. What you will find may challenge you. Because the believers lived their lives in communal harmony Demetrius (the silversmith) was legitimately scared that his trade was as good as gone. Have you ever considered the ramifications? The belief of the early church caused a CULTURE SHIFT. Entire trades were at risk of being uprooted in the town of Ephesus - and make no mistake - that kind of thing messes with the culture of a community.

If we suffer gloriously for Christ, and realize mortality matters if for nothing else but the immortality of God then maybe there would be "NO LITTLE DISTURBANCE IN THE PEORIA AREA CONCERNING THE WAY." The issue is not whether what I am going through is harder than what you have on your plate. For the constant throughout all human history is never the mode of human suffering. The CONSTANT is the GLORY OF CHRIST!

Ideally, folks would look at ALL of us and say, "he has a sick daughter, he just lost his job, she just got divorced, her car just broke down, he is buried in debt but THEY ALL have Jesus!!!

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