Sometimes God answers with severity.

This afternoon I was sitting in the room with Jada while she slept - just listening to the rhythm of her breathing while praying about some of the decisions that face us.

As you may or may not know (depending on how often you check the blog) Jess and I finally named baby x . . . Pierce Anakin Rumbold. From the birth yesterday Jada and I went for testing which initially revealed Clear Cell Sarcoma of the Kidney - stage 1. I have been praying (along with Jess) about whether to forgo the radiation portion of the treatment in favor of reducing the overall toxicity to Jada's body and minimizing the impact on her ability to reproduce in the future. Some weighty issues to be sure up for consideration for a person of any age, but especially for a 5 yr old.

That being said, I began to contemplate God's timing and what He is trying to tell Jess and I. Just then another Dr. walked in...and honestly I don't remember his name (we have meet LOTS of people recently), but he asked if I had any questions. When I told him the gist of Jess and my thoughts on radiation he opened up a bit about how he has been praying for Jess, Jada, and I ever since this whole ordeal began. We prayed together and specifically we aimed at wisdom in handling the radiation. It was a sweet time of Christian fellowship in the truest sense (our bond truly was/is Christ).

Only 30 minutes later our oncologist shows up and says, "I have the full pathology in hand (up to this point he had initial results and not the printed full copy). The findings change two things," he said. "One, we can no longer say that Jada has stage one cancer. Because the tumor has punctured the renal cavity it has to be considered stage two." I was taken back, not sure how to process or what to feel - but that sensation is not new to us. Dr. Al continued, "this means that we no longer can drop the radiation as a variation in treatment - it IS the standard of treatment to administer the radiation." Ummm, ok, I see.

I returned to the room smiling at the grace of the Lord Jesus. Not 40 minutes previous I had prayed for wisdom that was not mine to help us make the decision. God openly reveals to us that our daughter's condition is slightly more serious and will require the radiation. Done. The decision is made thanks to God.

In the book of Job we discover that Job's friends really are not all that helpful. They had a faulty belief in what we would call the "retribution principle." The meaning is simply that they thought good get good from God, and bad get bad from God. Job must have done something wrong. So its to that end that all of their statements and intellect aim. Elihu, the youngest of Job's friends actually has a decent nugget to contribute to the discussion and its been on my heart all day and now that I am actually putting some stuff in writing, I see why.

In Job 32:7-8 it says," ⁷I said, 'Let days speak,and many years teach wisdom.'⁸But it is the spirit in man, the breath of the Almighty, that makes him understand." Elihu is making the case that experienced and learned men should speak first - then let the younger go next. I have been seeking the opinions of the medical community without truly consulting God. Once I dropped this faulty logic and picked up the "breath of the Almighty" God gave understanding sooner than expected. Now, the problem in this case is that the answer is not a nice piece of triple layer chocolate cake with a glass of milk to wash it down - its severe. Does His severity nullify His love and paternal care? Not at all. The Lord disciplines those He loves... He MUST love Jess and I (and Jada, Ollie, and Pierce) an awful lot.

Blessed be the LORD

Blessed be the LORD... this is the way the Psalmist begins the 21st verse of the 31st Psalm. Not unlike many other Psalms where the writer is extolling some great virtue of the LORD by exclaiming that HE is to be praised, but its what follows that makes all the difference for Jessica and I.

On December 30th our daughter was told she has kidney cancer in the form of a wilm's tumor. While the pathology (the testing to determine the correct diagnosis) is still being done on Jada's football sized tumor she has been released from the hospital and is sound asleep about 12 feet from me right now in her own bed.

The rest of verse 21 says, "for he has wondrously shown his steadfast love to me when I was in a besieged city." Thursday the 30th of December certainly felt like Jess and I were in a "besieged" city with no escape. The choke hold of death was around our hearts and it was squeezing tears out of our now weary eyes. However, in just a few days we have seen marvelous improvement in our daughter and it has been the cause for MUCH rejoicing.

In fact, the day after her surgery she whispered to me that she missed church and wanted to go back soon. I put that little thought in my "wouldn't that be nice but fat chance" pocket. But the Lord saw fit to humble me once again. Amazing!

Above you will see pictures of the last 24hours with her. My brothers offered to spend the night in the hospital so Jess and I might get some sleep debt repaid before baby #3 arrives. Then Jada makes silly faces with her mom and Jess. Finally, you see Jess and I dressed and ready to leave the hospital.

In short, there has been the blessing and grace of the Lord all over this. Tonight Jess and I lay in bed with Jada and watched a movie while just cuddling (Oliver returns to us tomorrow in case you're wondering). She is walking proof of many things, but one thing in particular that I urge you to consider. Prayer IS the answer! I have never been so deep in prayer as I have been this past 8 days - and neither have many who have interceded on her behalf.

I had nights when I could not sleep and I would just stare out the window, talking (literally praying) to the Lord. Spilling my thoughts onto paper has become more intense (I have always been a journaler), and making my emotions subject to the Lordship of Christ is also normal. God has amazed us so much during this that I am content to look at something huge without fear, worry or anxiety - because those all involve myself managing the situation. Not sure if you have ever tried the, "I'll be God today" thing...but I can tell you from experience you will get to the end of this sentence faster than you will actually have peace of mind and a comforted spirit.

Christ RULES and Blessed be the LORD because of it. He never ceased to rule just because life got hard for me. His ruling was just manifest in my tiny little mind.

- you have need -

Last night at a youth ministry gathering commonly referred to as the Cabin, we had the joy of praying for and sending off a student to a semester of study in worldview training in Colorado. That in and of itself may not sound too significant, but a brief explanation of the person and situation will serve the context.

This particular student happens to be a recent High School grad and on the bubble of decision which so many his age face. The decision for him to head off to do a semester of ministry and worldview training was not arrived at lightly and likely will not be an easy task. On his mind is sacrifice...coupled with confidence. He is sacrificing a semester (or more) of time that could be spent in school on the career track leading to a wife, 2.5 children, a well paying job and a white picket fence.

Now, before you jump to conclusions and think that my writing is a some sort of favoritism megaphone, let me spell out for you the example this young man of faith (and I do think he has great faith) is setting for us. In Hebrews 10 confidence to meet continually with Jesus was outlined because some believers at the time were trying sort of a hybrid faith thing; combining Judaism and Christianity. They were putting their confidence in their flesh (or ability to provide and sustain their faith).

The exhortation from the author comes by way of appeal - (v35)"Therefore do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward." Their confidence was found way back in verse 19 - "the blood of Jesus." And why was he appealing? The beginning of v36 reveals it, "For you have need of endurance..."

So, as this student steps out in faith to do what God has called him to do he will have need of endurance. That endurance will be found not in his ability to sustain faith or good favor with God. Rather, that endurance is intrinsically linked to Jesus' blood and sacrifice.

Quality, Quantity or neither: you decide

Here's the deal, I sat this morning on a couch and watched the sunrise over a cup of coffee while reading a story in Luke chapter 7. I have read the story a number of times before, but this one was different. "Why?" you may ask. I'm glad you have an interest. The answer may surprise you.

In the story Jesus is at some prominent Pharisee's (Simon) home when a broken woman comes on the scene. Traditionally, this passage is taught in a "do you have messy stuff no-one else wants, come to Jesus and he will forgive you...and you will be SO APPRECIATIVE." which is not all bad, but bears closer scrutiny.

However, as I watched the sunrise I could not help but think God was trying loose the bonds of a sin caste system of sorts. This old method of teaching the passage almost always results in people who grew up with relatively "minor" sins casting an appraising glance at those "dirtier and deeper" sins in others.

Listen, that is not the point. Jesus, is getting at something much deeper when he says in 7:42, "...her sins, which are many, are forgiven—for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little." The point is not that she was a prostitute and came to Jesus to be cleansed, although that is part of it. In a very elementary way Jesus is saying, "Simon (pharisee), she recognizes her need of me, you don't - therefore you extend little love to her."

So, brass tacks, what kind of damage are we talking here if I have lived apart from this understanding of forgiveness and love my whole life? Here it is: Its not how much (quantity) you sin, or how great (quality) your sin is; it IS whether you find in Jesus a REAL, LASTING, and PERFECT solution for ALL sin. For when you do you will be free to Love Much for you have been Forgiven Much. (The whole story is in Luke 7:36-50).

I invite your comments as to what you learned from this or how it challenged you.

Annual Rumbold Wrap-Up

Perseverance - Character - Hope

A beautiful morning it was - sun shining, gentle breeze and runners ready. I had my camera slung over my shoulder ready to capture the memories. I watched the field ready themselves and the race began.

Nearly every runner was excited and looking fresh at the beginning. I ran from corner to corner to snap pics and encourage every runner I knew. I began to notice something as each race (both the guys and gals) wore on: they began to look a little weary and tired. As each race drew to a close the last 300 meters seemed especially difficult but the most exciting as strength and speed we evidenced in their increased effort.

As I had a conversation with some of the runners after the race my heart was reminded again of Romans 5:3-5. In the final, extremely difficult stretch when it seemed all strength was gone a few of the runners made the statement: "I had nothing and I called out to God for help and it was amazing how immediate He sent that help."

Our trials are designed by God to produce perseverance which in turn produces character and finally Hope. Hope is always tethered to an unchanging object. In this case - Jesus CHRIST! What a testimony for Him as the students drew upon their relationship with Christ for strength to finish STRONG!.

Jesus - My Humility Part 2

So, admittedly as I have aged, Jesus has brought into my life little (or not so little) events which have caused me to realize the necessity of humility. There is a common thread in all events in my life concerning humility: it happens to be a choice. Jesus did not find himself on the cross as accidental act of obedience to the Father. That fact of humility, CHOICE, being duly noted - let me just ask you to examine your own heart as you read on. The tendency, I know (because we are not so different you and I), is to think, "man, so and so could totally use this information, or my husband is so arrogant - maybe I can get him to read this, etc, etc etc; but I implore you - be reconciled to God first. Horizontal relationships will follow.
Last post we talked about the humility of Christ - this one deals in specifics. In regards to humility and Philippians 1:27-2:11:

1. Recognize your need & your position in Christ (1:27): a life worthy of the Gospel should be taken positionally in Christ - the behavior will follow the position.
   
2. Reorient your life (2:6): Practically, for us this is the use of gifts, talents, money, time, etc it is all subject to the purpose and plan of God. Do you have money - its God's, do you have time available - its Gods, etc etc etc.
   
3. Render your service (2:7-8): One cannot serve another person when they believe themselves to be innately better. Ask yourself this question when serving someone – how does what I am doing right now evidence the death of Christ in me and promote it whom I’m serving?

Finally, as I said in the previous post - I preached on this very topic in my church recently. CLICK HERE to listen to either of those sermons (they came in two parts like the blog).

Please add your thoughts by clicking on the "comment" link at the bottom. Be patient with the audio files, they are large and will take a while to load.

The Foremost - Part 2

The foremost... the words of the Apostle Paul ring in my ears and sting my heart. He says that of ALL people, he is the worst, most disgusting sinner on the planet.
As I think through the lives of people like Ted Bundy (murder and rapist - see recap below) I am astounded Paul would indicate that he is worse off. I have often wondered why he takes that view of himself. We did not have too much discussion (one comment on the previous post and a few emails to me) but, for what its worth here is my take on Paul's bold claim in I Timothy 1:15-16:
Paul says he is the the worst of sinners not because of false humility rather it is because that displays the glory of God to forgive. You see in verse 16 after Paul says he is the worst he explains why - so that Christ's UNLIMITED patience might be revealed and others come to salvation.
So, "what does that mean," I am asked. There are a few applications of this truth:

1. If I am the "worst of sinners" then NO ONE is disqualified from the grace and forgiveness of God - Think on those words for a bit. We often want to present ourselves better and more righteous after being saved but forget that does little to model Grace for the observing non-believer in Christ.
2. My salvation is not for me...alone. Rather, it is to be told and retold with the understanding that Jesus was GREAT to save me and the depth of my sinfulness combined with Jesus' patience moves others toward a relationship with Christ.

I would love to hear your thoughts here - really take a moment to comment.

The Foremost - Part 1

Ted Bundy was an unbelievable man. During the 1970s he went on a rampage murdering and raping over 30 women - though the actual figure is unknown. He was apparently a normal, non-ambitious male whose life was just under the radar, never really being noticed by anyone. Over a period of 10 years or so he raped and murdered a number of women, no one really ever knowing what "snapped" inside him. Just the thought of that type of desensitization boggles the mind.
I am forced to think, even as I read though his biographical information, how vile and awful a man he must have been. I cannot even begin to see myself getting anywhere near that insane. The more I think about his crimes the more I think of the distance between myself and him - he's a killer, I am a youth pastor. He was a rapist, I am a husband and father. The distance between him and I seems too far to traverse - but is it really?
In 1st Timothy 1:15&16 the apostle Paul calls himself, "the foremost" or worst of sinners. Really? The guy who wrote literally 75% of the New Testament is worse than me? hmmm.
What do you make of such a bold and stiff claim? Certainly I am better off than Bundy, or any other murderer or rapist out there, right?
Jot down your thoughts by clicking on the comment key and tell me what you think...part 2 to follow shortly - - -