Conflict?

We are all living in close proximity to those in our home these days. Probably closer than some would like, but thats not a bad thing. Inevitably conflict will occur but the real question for those who claim Christ is, "How will you respond to conflict when it happens?"

How we handle conflict reveals whose glory we seek

In James 3:13-18 we are met with a question. "Who is wise and understanding among you?" What follows is James trying to reason with the recipients of his letter and bring them to a basic conclusion, your conduct illustrates the strength of your wisdom (see v13b). If, and these are times in which every reader of this post can attest, there is bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your (our) hearts we are a walking contradiction. 

You say, "Um, jealousy I get, but what is 'selfish ambition?'" Let's quickly define both and them jump in to what God wants to teach us from His Word in James 3 and 4. 

• bitter jealousy - Focuses on another person's possessions or relationships, wanting those for myself while at the same time wishing their demise. Yikes, that sounds a little heavy-handed, I don't do that in my home... Bear with me and we'll see about that. 
• selfish ambition - A desire to put oneself forward. 

How are we doing so far, is there conflict in your heart yet? Have you or I ever wanted what someone else had (finances, relationships, connections, twitter or instagram clout, etc). Surely not 

😬 

In these times where we are literally on top of each other and have little freedom to move, my jealousy and ambition will rise to the fore. Let's see how the Spirit wants to use His Word to direct us regarding how we handle conflict - because WE ARE All GONNA HAVE IT! 

1. Conflict is Normal - Expect it (James 4:1) James is writing to various churches spread throughout the Roman empire (James 1:1) with the SAME concern - conflict. You see, conflict centers around desire and we all have desire. We ALL want and don't get something at some point in our lives. Its normal so we had better expect it. Since we are people who are born with an inward bent on what we want (desire) that means our first and greatest conflict is vertical before it is horizontal. Read Ephesians 2:11-22 to learn more. 
2. Conflict is Revealing - Examine it (James 4:2-5) Our wrong desires can blind us to the ways in which we ignore God. Thinking that others are the problem James tells us that we can even pray in such a way that means we really think others should change to accommodate my needs. BOOM, conflict. When conflict happens its worth asking some questions in order to examine what it is that I want and why I act the way I do when I don't get it. Trust me, the rest of us thank you for engaging this step 😉. Here are some starters for you:
1. What is it that want more than anything right now?
2. What is so hard t believe or accept which is currently being said? 
3. Why am I so defensive right now? 
4. Am I displaying concern for the other individual?
5. Am I prayer-less in this moment? 
3. Conflict is transforming - Embrace it (James 4:6-10) If we expect conflict, examine our heart's desire in it, we can begin to embrace it as potent ingredient for recipe of heart change God is after in us. When conflict happens it is ALWAYS our move (so to speak)  if we confess Christ. Let me explain - Matthew 5:23-26 reminds us that if a "brother has something against you" we should go to him. Conflict affects our worship. Thats a problem. Matthew 18:15-20 tells us that if "you have something against your brother" you should go to him. Not a leader or a prayer partner or your mom - you go TO THE SOURCE. This is the least practiced but most useful discipline in the church today to promote unity. 
1. Conflict usually produces an environment where forgiveness NEEDS to be sought. What a kindness of God. 

How you handle conflict reveals whose glory you seek!