Just my bunny

Yesterday marked what most would label a milestone. One could easily look at it and say, "milestone, marker, landmark" or any of a thousand metaphors - but pure and simple - it was a momentous occasion and cause for review in the journey.

Here it is: Yesterday Jada received her last scheduled outpatient chemotherapy infusion! This means from now until August she will receive chemo only while in the hospital and at that every 2-3 weeks depending on her blood levels.

The picture shows Jada at the very beginning of the journey we have been on now since December 30th, 2010 - the day of her diagnosis with Kidney Cancer. If you click on the image to make it bigger, you will read the text - Psalm 40:9-10. A dear friend made (thank you Tyler Thompson) this picture for me as a reminder... I thought this morning might be a good opportunity to unload that on you, the unsuspecting reader, what that "reminder" is.

Psalm 40:9-10:

⁹ I have told the glad news of deliverance in the great congregation; behold, I have not restrained my lips, as you know, O LORD. ¹⁰I have not hidden your deliverance within my heart; I have spoken of your faithfulness and your salvation; I have not concealed your steadfast love and your faithfulness from the great congregation.

To suffer without purpose or direction is to walk through life not knowing Jesus! To suffer and know the present comfort (one of the functions of the Holy Spirit listed in John 14-16...by the way, this is a great discourse on all the Spirit is - not what we make him to be) of the Spirit is to KNOW the salve or balm-like nature of God's sovereignty. Let me put it this way: how many of us will readily place our trust in that which will disappoint us, even in the short term? The answer, MANY - if not all of us will do this.

"My spouse would never treat me unkind, my kids will always respect my wishes, my job will always be here, I am well known at school or work and people like me, if I roll up my sleeves and just work hard then this or that will happen, we have set up a nice nest egg for retirement that will sustain us," etc etc etc.

The writer of Hebrews is clear that Jesus is the sure and firm anchor for our soul which will NEVER disappoint - the only one we can ever hang our hopes on and find them realized. From the very beginning with Jada God has given grace and mercy in helping us realize this trial is not about us. We have the happy tune of God's deliverance and salvation whistling from our lips - though there have been times of sadness, self-pity, and complaining. Since my first blog post on this new life of ours at the beginning of January, Jess and I have endeavored to "not restrain my (our) lips" regarding the deliverance and faithfulness of God. A simple fact Jada brought to light just yesterday as we traveled to clinic.

Each time we leave the house go to the clinic we spend the first half of the ride praying and talking through fears or concerns for that day. It was hard to keep the smile off my weary lips as I said, "Jada, do you know what today is?" She says blithely, "clinic, why dad?" "Jada, today is your LAST outpatient CHEMOTHERAPY!" The words dance off my tongue with a sweetness only Jesus can cause. "What do you think about that sweetie?" Three words that indicate the work the Spirit has been up to in her little heart rolled out, "God did it" she yells.

I look in the rearview mirror and ask her, "well, if God did that, what should we tell people?" She locks her eyes with mine and states with conviction, "we should tell them."

Clinic and the rest of the day went much as it always does... some screaming children here and there, no real schedule - just a lot of waiting, blood drawn, weight taken, height checked, heart listened to, crafts done, conversations had, lunch consumed (a celebration lunch considering the day of course), back home, played outside, shot given (Jada receives an injection daily to help with her blood levels), and finally, BEDTIME! I am lying in bed with Jada reviewing the day and reading a little to her. After prayer and a kiss on the forehead she looks at me and places one hand on my cheek. Intently she says, "Dad, did you tell anyone about Jesus today at clinic?"

"Yes sweetie, I did," was followed by a brief account so Jada would know what I meant. "What about you Jada, did you tell anyone about Jesus?" "Just my bunny," she remarks. "Really, what did you tell him?" "I didn't tell, I sang - I sang him a song," was her reply. "I see, what song was that honey?" "I made it up, it was about God being good."

You see, ever since the beginning our prayer has been for deliverance. Our picture of what that is has been eroded, destroyed, and rebuilt. We are learning always that just as important as prayer is acceptance. Acceptance of the deliverance that God, in his Sovereignty, chooses to supply you with. We have (and continue to) experience deliverance in Christ, community and confession.

In Christ it is the present comfort that his sacrifice and gift of the Spirit gives. In community our nuclear families and the church body have upheld and encouraged us. In confession it is the place of brokenness which has a twofold declaration: one, God's word is ALL we can hang on to. Two, confessing sin and ineptitude at every turn so as to trust fully in God's process here.

Will you, today, join us in "not restraining your lips" and "not concealing God's steadfast love" so that others will see the GREAT joy that it is to tether our hope with the ANCHOR of JESUS?

Ponder for a moment then, who is glorified?