The Kindness and Severity of God

These, make no mistake, are unbelievably difficult times. Grief is no respecter of hearts. So it is that when Jess, Jada and myself went to say "farewell" to Cora Peters God began a process in my own heart - that can only be worked out by writing. 

On January 4th at 6:00 in the evening, hundreds gathered to celebrate the life and passing of Cora Peters. Having lost my own brother to an untimely death when he was just seventeen, I often struggle with how to articulate what God teaches OR offers us in the middle of the storm as it were. 

I'm no good at being formal or polished, so this may be a little raw or lengthy. Bear with me, however, because I believe it will exalt God, honor Cora Peter's memory, and give comfort to her family and anyone else grieving her loss. 

The writer of Ecclesiastes (Solomon) provides insight as to why we attend a funeral in chapter 7:2, "It is better to go to the house of mourning than to go to the house of feasting, for this is the end of all mankind, and the living will lay it to heart. 3 Sorrow is better than laughter, for by sadness of face the heart is made glad. 4 The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning, but the heart of fools is in the house of mirth."

Really, "sorrow is better than laughter?" Who is this deranged fool hanging out with? "By sadness... the heart is made glad." A little too formulaic for my liking. If you want to stand you have to sit, if you to run you must walk...that sort of thing. How does that line of thinking serve our grieving hearts? 

However, I have been known to be wrong before. Besides, maybe Solomon was on to something...

This passage is perhaps one of the most poignant in all the Bible in helping us to understand that when life is spent on ourselves it is meaningless and vain. However, by joining with God's story through faith in His Son Jesus the result will be lasting joy, real hope and eternal life.  

Cora and Jada

With God's word as our guide my aim is to take us on a journey out of despair and into HOPE EVERLASTING!" This passage helps us understand a few things about death, and its critical we grasp them:

1. (v2) It's good that we are thinking about her loss. Not one of us will escape this moment. Everyone reading this is "…laying it to heart…" In fact, you are reading this because of your connection (in some way) to Cora.
2. (v3) There is an innate goodness that comes by way of sorrow - an introspection occurs that otherwise would not. A self-exam. The apostle Paul in II Cor. puts it this way: 

II Corinthians 7:10 "For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death."

More than anything in ALL THE WORLD the Peters want each one reading this to KNOW "…salvation without regret…" But how - how?

First things first, God created you, each one of you. and HE LOVES YOU DEEPLY. His original created order DID NOT INCLUDE THIS (death) - that is why we are so deeply distressed. Death is the result of sin. Sin had to be overcome, and it was. But HOW does one appropriate that victory for themselves? How can you have "salvation without regret?"

The Apostle Paul picks up where God's created order was marred, describing the state of someone who is not yet a believer in Christ: Titus 3:3 "Once we, too, we're foolish and disobedient. We were misled and became slaves to many lusts and pleasures. Our lives were full of evil and envy, and we hated each other." Sounds like a horrible existence if you ask me.

The word "Gospel" means "good news." If Paul would have stopped after verse 3 he would have done humanity a HUGE disservice. Much to my eternal joy he did not cease there. Listen to the rest of the discourse:4 But - When God our Savior revealed His kindness and love, 5 He saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of His mercy. He washed away our sins, giving us new birth and new life through the Holy Spirit. 6 He generously poured out the Spirit upon us through Jesus Christ our Savior. 7 Because of His grace He declared us righteous and gave us confidence that we will inherit eternal life."

• What we were (v3)...

3 "Once we, too, were foolish and disobedient. We were misled and became slaves to many lusts and pleasures. Our lives were full of evil and envy, and we hated each other".
One must understand that his sinful state leaves him utterly helpless. 

• Who He Is (v4)...

But—“When God our Savior revealed his kindness and love...”
Ever since the creation of the world God has been communicating His love of mankind. In fact, Romans 2:4 says that it is “...His kindness that leads us to repentance...” 
God is, DESPITE ALL YOU PERCEIVE THROUGH YOUR EMOTIONAL FACULTIES TODAY, GOOD! 

• What He did (vv 5-6)...

5 "he saved us, not because of the righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He washed away our sins, giving us a new birth and new life through the Holy Spirit. ⁶ He generously poured out the Spirit upon us through Jesus Christ our Savior."
What he has accomplished through the death, burial and resurrection of His Son Jesus Christ, was a change at the core of who we are. An identity swap... Leading to new affections! 

• Who we are NOW (v7)...

7 "Because of his grace he declared us righteous and gave us confidence that we will inherit eternal life.”

Having believed in our heart and confessed with our mouth that Jesus is LORD we are JUSTIFIED (in right relationship with God). 

I could go on but I fear I may have already lost a good bit of you for lack of ear-tickling prose and gentle realities. 
The Kindness of God lay in the fact that any of us has confidence of eternal life through the forgiveness of sin. The Severity of God is found on this winding, unpredictable and sometimes downright ferocious path called grief. It hurts, yes. Just ask Karen or David and their family. 

However, their hurt is tethered to hope. 

10 things I learned in 10 years from the woman of my dreams by the hand of God

at our wedding

celebrating our 10th

Milestone - an action or event marking a significant change or stage in development. 

Milestones are things that keep us grounded and certain we are headed in the right direction. We have physical milestones, social milestones, intellectual milestones, emotional milestones and even spiritual milestones. As human beings we are often lost without reference to a particular milestone. We speak of when we graduated college, started a career or how long it has been since a loved one passed away. We love milestones because they provide for us a frame of reference; giving meaning and purpose to our lives… Which at times may seem to be driven by the endless minutia of wake, work, school, bills, diapers, grocery shopping and all of their various kin. 

BUT a milestone is so much more than minutia! A milestone raises its fist in protest against the words of Solomon in Ecclesiastes 1:2 “Everything is meaningless,” says the Teacher, “completely meaningless!”, and it states emphatically, “This means something! This day, this hour, this minute, this second, it means something. Persevere, have faith, take courage, I (says the Lord) have not saved you for nothing. Look ahead, there’s your goal, don’t give up!” 

Everything is NOT more meaningless minutia! In the seemingly endless nature of your life: dishes, laundry, runny noses, muddy floors, sleepless nights, school activities, my meetings, discipline of the children, visits to the Dr. for your limes disease treatment, and the list goes on…You may be at risk of tripping on the milestone and deeming it an insignificant bump in your road. I frame it in this way because it's my stubborn heart that took weeks of reflection and the grace of the Spirit to even begin to comprehend all God has done. 

T-E-N years! We have been married happily by the grace of our Lord Jesus, for TEN years! These last few weeks as our tenth approached I began to list TEN things I have learned. They are in no particular order, but the culmination of their message - - - well, I hope it's the milestone you were needing to be encouraged with today.

God is faithful. I had no earthly idea that in ten years we’d move six times, have three different jobs, three kids, walk through childhood cancer or see you diagnosed with lyme disease. Through all this, the smile of God’s favor rests heavily on us and for that I am grateful - because there were days when it seemed too hard. 

Our vows mean more to me now than ten years ago. You and I loved each other as we stood in front of hundreds and said those vows. Take me back ten years with the knowledge and experience I have now and I still wouldn't trade a thing. I’ll take you in sickness and in health, in wealth and in poverty…I’ll take you, because Christ has taken me. 

I loved living in North Carolina. Far and away there were times in that first year of marriage when Krispy Kreme donuts and a diet Coke typified our experience in the south (inside joke). The beach was close and God grew our love as we both would learn to leave and cleave.

I know the depth of your commitment to me. When we took off the gloves for the first time in our house in NC and got into an argument, I was terrified that you would second guess marrying me. Your words were a balm to my nervous heart, “I’m not going anywhere honey, I’m just ticked off at you right now.” 

Children are blessing and heritage from the Lord. Though you cried like a baby at the sight of our first pregnancy test because we both weren’t prepared. The words of the Psalmist (127:3) ring true: “Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.”

Childhood cancer taught me that our kids are not our own. While children are a blessing and heritage from the Lord, they are ultimately FROM THE LORD. This helps me to love them more freely - though on some days I need your reminding to be more tender and appreciative of God’s gifts to us. 

Jada at a community fundraiser
to bless our family

I wouldn't want to be on a mission or in the trenches with anyone else before you! Each day as we wake and we engage our kids, each other, and our neighbors with the Gospel we are making disciples; the very mission God has called to. I can’t imagine rolling up my sleeves or getting dirty in this way with anyone but you. 

I still love your laugh! From across a crowded room, or in the car seat next to me, I love that sound. So deep, so genuine, so inviting! 

If these first ten years are ANYTHING, they are a trailer to the next best years of my life (and hopefully yours)! I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, this is only due to the mutual foundation of Christ in us.

 You are still breathtakingly beautiful to me! Song of Songs 2:2 echoes the sentiment of my heart, “As a lily among brambles, so is my love among the young women.” Whether its in your jammies or all dressed up for a date night, your beauty is more than skin deep, it issues forth “…from a gentle and quiet spirit - which is precious in the sight of God…” (I borrowed those words from 1 Pet. 3:4).

I love you and I pray this anniversary be a special “milestone” for you as it has already been for me!