The Fright of our Wants

James 4:4-6 4 You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. 5 Or do you suppose it is to no purpose that the Scripture says, “He yearns jealously over the spirit that he has made to dwell in us”? 6 But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”

Take the time, right now if you can, to catalog through the deep recesses of your mind. Here's what you are looking for: a time when you knew you were had. When it seemed as though all eyes in the place were on you, and whats more, you were the guilty one. Nothing you can do in the moment but own it and move on.

Do you have that moment in your mind? Unfortunately, paring down my list of memories from the Rolodex of regrettable actions leaves me near paralyzed at the moment. However, I am able to hone in on a few.

With that exercise complete, let me ask you another question. In those moments when "it was over" - what was at the front end of your thinking? Were you ready to give up, were you emboldened with a new resolve toward self-defense, did you travel down the well worn path of self-loathing that you "did it again," did you instinctively devise a plan in order to avoid the same foible in the future, or was there some other response not listed?

Do you feel that, the tension created by being in the position we just imagined? This is the space readers of James 4 find themselves in. When one reads it they begin to see, possibly with real clarity, that its not their needs but their wants which are so frightening. Maybe the reader of this post is thinking, "Frightening, why would what I want cause me fright?" The answer James spells out: what you want is not bad its the manner in which you want it. It leads to fighting, quarreling, MURDER, and ultimately enmity with God. When our wants become our worship look out for there is relational collateral that most certainly follows.

James leads us to the brink of despair were it not for Jesus. For the tension the reader has is that despite his saving knowledge and relationship with Christ, he often returns to enmity with God in his heart via his wants. But those most soothing of words in 4:6 (But he gives more grace) bring the gospel balm we all need daily. "...He gives more grace..." and I don't get it through any other channel than humility. 

Whether you've held to your enmity with for a long time (I want or demand something and it must be this way) or its been 6 minutes - the solution is the same. He wants deep, gut level mourning that your wants have become your worship thus dislodging the rightful owner of the throne: Jesus Christ! 

Humility.

Lord, break me of my pride, no matter the cost.