10 things I learned in 10 years from the woman of my dreams by the hand of God

at our wedding

celebrating our 10th

Milestone - an action or event marking a significant change or stage in development. 

Milestones are things that keep us grounded and certain we are headed in the right direction. We have physical milestones, social milestones, intellectual milestones, emotional milestones and even spiritual milestones. As human beings we are often lost without reference to a particular milestone. We speak of when we graduated college, started a career or how long it has been since a loved one passed away. We love milestones because they provide for us a frame of reference; giving meaning and purpose to our lives… Which at times may seem to be driven by the endless minutia of wake, work, school, bills, diapers, grocery shopping and all of their various kin. 

BUT a milestone is so much more than minutia! A milestone raises its fist in protest against the words of Solomon in Ecclesiastes 1:2 “Everything is meaningless,” says the Teacher, “completely meaningless!”, and it states emphatically, “This means something! This day, this hour, this minute, this second, it means something. Persevere, have faith, take courage, I (says the Lord) have not saved you for nothing. Look ahead, there’s your goal, don’t give up!” 

Everything is NOT more meaningless minutia! In the seemingly endless nature of your life: dishes, laundry, runny noses, muddy floors, sleepless nights, school activities, my meetings, discipline of the children, visits to the Dr. for your limes disease treatment, and the list goes on…You may be at risk of tripping on the milestone and deeming it an insignificant bump in your road. I frame it in this way because it's my stubborn heart that took weeks of reflection and the grace of the Spirit to even begin to comprehend all God has done. 

T-E-N years! We have been married happily by the grace of our Lord Jesus, for TEN years! These last few weeks as our tenth approached I began to list TEN things I have learned. They are in no particular order, but the culmination of their message - - - well, I hope it's the milestone you were needing to be encouraged with today.

God is faithful. I had no earthly idea that in ten years we’d move six times, have three different jobs, three kids, walk through childhood cancer or see you diagnosed with lyme disease. Through all this, the smile of God’s favor rests heavily on us and for that I am grateful - because there were days when it seemed too hard. 

Our vows mean more to me now than ten years ago. You and I loved each other as we stood in front of hundreds and said those vows. Take me back ten years with the knowledge and experience I have now and I still wouldn't trade a thing. I’ll take you in sickness and in health, in wealth and in poverty…I’ll take you, because Christ has taken me. 

I loved living in North Carolina. Far and away there were times in that first year of marriage when Krispy Kreme donuts and a diet Coke typified our experience in the south (inside joke). The beach was close and God grew our love as we both would learn to leave and cleave.

I know the depth of your commitment to me. When we took off the gloves for the first time in our house in NC and got into an argument, I was terrified that you would second guess marrying me. Your words were a balm to my nervous heart, “I’m not going anywhere honey, I’m just ticked off at you right now.” 

Children are blessing and heritage from the Lord. Though you cried like a baby at the sight of our first pregnancy test because we both weren’t prepared. The words of the Psalmist (127:3) ring true: “Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.”

Childhood cancer taught me that our kids are not our own. While children are a blessing and heritage from the Lord, they are ultimately FROM THE LORD. This helps me to love them more freely - though on some days I need your reminding to be more tender and appreciative of God’s gifts to us. 

Jada at a community fundraiser
to bless our family

I wouldn't want to be on a mission or in the trenches with anyone else before you! Each day as we wake and we engage our kids, each other, and our neighbors with the Gospel we are making disciples; the very mission God has called to. I can’t imagine rolling up my sleeves or getting dirty in this way with anyone but you. 

I still love your laugh! From across a crowded room, or in the car seat next to me, I love that sound. So deep, so genuine, so inviting! 

If these first ten years are ANYTHING, they are a trailer to the next best years of my life (and hopefully yours)! I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, this is only due to the mutual foundation of Christ in us.

 You are still breathtakingly beautiful to me! Song of Songs 2:2 echoes the sentiment of my heart, “As a lily among brambles, so is my love among the young women.” Whether its in your jammies or all dressed up for a date night, your beauty is more than skin deep, it issues forth “…from a gentle and quiet spirit - which is precious in the sight of God…” (I borrowed those words from 1 Pet. 3:4).

I love you and I pray this anniversary be a special “milestone” for you as it has already been for me!