Compassion's Dilemma

I argued with the first light of day this morning. No shouting or raising of fists, just subtle obstinance. Last night's sleep at the hospital was about as restful as a soldier in the bunkers on the beaches of Normandy. I posted my objection primarily because rest is just something I was hoping for. We don't always get what we hope for and Jess and I are keenly aware of that little reality more and more these days.

I guess the bigger picture here is that I wanted some compassion from God regarding my sleepless estate. However, there were more factors at play last night and the Great Sovereign Puppet Master was gently tugging the strings of "circumstance" so I would see what's really important.

Romans 8:25 - "But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience."

You, the reader, may or may not be aware that this week carries with it a fair amount of trepidation. The results of Jada's CT scan last week indicate that further investigation is necessary so a PET scan is ordered for Friday morning. The results could be anywhere from nothing to something incredibly serious. So, as with every other week in this ordeal, we pray and wait patiently for that which we hope but do not see.

Which brings me to a conversation Jada and I had last night just as her chemo was getting prepped. I had left the room for about 5 minutes when the nurses came in to begin the chemo preparation. By the time I was back they were finished preparing and had stepped out. Jada glances in my direction with those eyes that seem as big as the ocean against her small, hairless head.

Obvious concern had led to their sad and now squinting countenance as she fought off tears. "What is it sweetie?" I said. "Dad, who knows what is happening in this entire hospital while you were gone. There are so many people in this place who could be having a hard time right now... you know, like taking yucky medicine or getting chemo, or having a surgery. It makes me sad just to think of them all having a hard time."

My mind is thinking of how Jesus would see crowds of people and the Bible says, "have compassion on them..." Compassion is a fiber of your character which webster rightly defines as, "sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others." However, Webster misses an important element for which I wish to make an account for. THE HEART. That is to say, the affection or preceding logic which gives way to "pity and concern." Anyone can "feel" compassion - but is that really sufficient? You see, the affection of Christ's heart (his preceding logic which gave way to miracles, the atonement, propitiation, and radical obedience to a foreordained plan, etc.) was the condition of the hearts of the masses.

Circle the wagons then, take a ride on the elevator, come through the double doors and look to your right - that's us (Jada and I) in room 401. Lets look in now and see the conclusion to the compassion dilemma we are facing: "Well, sweetie, what do you think we should do?" I'm careful here because I want her deep compassion to have biblical direction. Without so much as 3 seconds to formulate a polished statement, Jada replies, "I have just been praying and praying until you walked in right now." The first condition in need of compassion is always spiritual, the second is physical. Christ saw this and realized that most times the avenue to the primary could easily be accessed through the secondary. This then, sets a great theological cornerstone for mercy ministries being tangible and practical.

So, as the night was closing out and chemo was well under way one of the nurses was asking how I was. In a gracious - COMPASSIONATE - moment from the LORD, she asked if she could pray with Jada and I. She grabbed another nurse, began praying and the comfort of the Spirit was palpable. Jess and I have often said, we don't want people to feel sorry for us, as though something strange or bad were happening to us. Our desire is that our situation honors Jesus and brings glory to God... while at the same time causing others to have compassion on us. A compassion with biblical direction that is concerned first with our spiritual condition.