Shaken, not stirred

I remember it like it was yesterday. A memory tattooed in the annals of my mind; a sweet but bitter providence I can not ignore as I reflect...

The February cold was the stuff of novels and the fatigue I was experiencing was breaking me. Our daughter lay in the hospital enduring chemo and radiation for the cancer that had only been recently discovered. I had come home to sleep one night and was relieved to see my wife and two sons. Our youngest son now not even a month old and our eldest son was two years old.

If you're a parent you know the cry those infants make. No barrier can totally insulate one from the destitute nature of those wails for help. We (Jess and I) had decided he would have to wait to eat again and all other signs (clean diaper, etc) pointed to him being just fine. Yet he screamed in the small pack-n-play at the foot of our bed. I tried and checked everything. In final desperation I lay on the floor with my face down, my eyes dispensing a salty flow of sadness and pain, and with my mouth I uttered the following prayer to God... (disclaimer: if you have a high opinion of me in my "holiness" you will likely to be disappointed if you read on) I said...

"Won't you f#!$*ing relent, just relent! I can't take any more..."

Ever been there? I mean, not specifically with the circumstances I'm describing, but with the desperation and hopelessness that results from what feels like an absolute breaking process - all managed by a seemingly maniacal God?

Peter, one of the least stable disciples (which is why I think I identify with him), was going to have a moment like I described above; he would be shaken (or sifted). Luke 22:31-34 unpacks the scene succinctly.

What is shaking or sifting and why is it so scary for us? (as it was for Peter) It is a purging and sifting process. It distills lesser loves to reveal that which WILL carry you through the lean times. I venture that most of us are fearful of these experiences because of what they may reveal about our "go-to's" for comfort; those things or relationships we think we simply CANNOT live without. Or coming at it from a different and potentially more violent angle... We fear what God may ask us to give up. "Really Lord, you think its wise and good to take the life of my daughter..."

Note the mercy of Jesus. He doesn't abandon Peter. Jesus also doesn’t pray for escape but fortitude (Luke 22:32).

The purpose for Peter's shaking was to strengthen the brothers (meaning establish the church and fill the destiny God had on his life) and it actually happened because everyone reading this today who is part of a local body of believers is indirectly the result of his sifting.

Our God is a Consuming Fire (Heb. 12:29) and will have every part of us from the highest hair on our head to the longest nail on our toe if we are to be effective for His Kingdom. The writer of Hebrews sheds light on an often dark and bleak subject when he says,

This phrase, 'yet once more,' indicates the removal of things that are shaken-that is, things that have been made-in order that the things that cannot be shaken may remain.  

I'm so glad that God didn't relent when I asked but instead supplied His Spirit to confirm that I have a kingdom that cannot be shaken. It didn't come easily or in a moment though. There were (and are) many things the Lord is shaking or sifting in me in order that what cannot be shaken remains.

You see - stirring just won't get the job done. I need more. You need more. Consider asking yourself some questions to embrace and not escape shaking or sifting:

1. Is there a particular area of weakness, need or frustration that continues to be pressed on by those close to me (spouse, family, co-workers, friends)? How am I responding? Where do I run? 
2. Is there an ongoing trial, chronic health issue, spiritual weightiness, or otherwise trying time that has been longstanding and seemingly unchanged despite your efforts in prayer? Do you find yourself discouraged and ready to throw in the towel instead of leaning into wrecking ball prayer (a term recently introduced to me communicating relentless pursuit - see Luke 18:1-8)?

Be reminded and encouraged this day:

• Our Father is Good and gives Good gifts to His children who ask, not sparing ANYTHING (Rom. 8:31-32) 
• Our Father is about your development for deployment NOT destruction unto death (Read Luke 22:31-34; John 21:15-25 - maybe another blog post if enough people comment they'd like to see how Jesus restores). 
• Our Father's power and wisdom are unmatched and not naturally perceived or received (I Cor. 1:18-31) 

Take the time to share (if you like) how this impacted you or if you'd like clarification.