Forgiveness anyone?

In this unprecedented time we live, the creation of debt has captured my thinking. At the time of this blog USA Today is charting unemployment at a record 15-20% with a huge quantity filing weekly. Small businesses can apply for a loan to keep workers employed for 8 weeks and then have the loan totally forgiven.

Forgiveness. What an incredible and thoroughly biblical concept. Sounds so wonderful. We love to be forgiven. Extending forgiveness, that one is a little more tricky. Yet, as a pastor and counselor I cannot state (even with a megaphone) how pervasive and far reaching this problem is.

Don't believe me? Here's a litmus test. Ask yourself or someone you know the following question: "Is there anyone you can think of that you have something against OR has something against you?" If the answer is "yes" read on. If it is "no" maybe read on for the friend you are asking for 😏

What is FORGIVENESS?
Sin is part of the human experience, we cannot escape it. Therefore, we will sin against others and they against us. "Duh Doug. That's not rocket science," you may muse internally. "Why does it matter?" It matters because all sin creates a debt. To forgive means that you choose not to collect that debt.

Years ago there was a friend I had who fell on very hard times. My wife and I began giving the man meals on occasion and helping out in any way we could. During this time he lost his transportation to work. Reasoning that my job was an easy commute with a bike I offered our second car. The gentleman drove it for months. Finally the time came for him to move on and he simply left my car in the driveway with the key in the ignition, not even a "thank you." I was happy to have it back... until I looked it over. The inside was trashed; including drug paraphernalia tucked neatly under the passenger floor mat. The outside had yellow road paint all along the wheel wells and splattered on the side.

I was bothered and honestly a little hurt. Something had to be done. The paint needed fixed, the car needed a detailing inside and out. A debt had been created because someone took advantage of my kindness. I have two options: one, call him up and demand he pay. Two, absorb the cost of repair myself. I went with option two: I chose, as Timothy Keller puts it, to engage in a "voluntary form of suffering" by absorbing the cost. There is no forgiveness without suffering. Just look at Jesus...

Jesus on FORGIVENESS
At this point you may be thinking I was soft on my friend and that he was the one who should be seeking my forgiveness for what he did to me. You would be technically right but perhaps spiritually bankrupt in your answer. You see Jesus, in Matthew 6:12 and 18:21-35, illustrates how sin creates debt and must be forgiven. It is impossible for me NOT to feel as though my friend "owes" me something. What do you do in this case? Who goes "first?" so to speak? Who pays?

The answer is... you do. "Really, this guy has treated me horrible as his employee and you want me to forgive?" OR "I was so wounded by the leadership of this church that I could never forgive them unless they come to me first admitting fault?" OR "I mistreated my wife and deeply hurt her and I don't think I could bear going to her right now?" Again, I love the way Keller states this:

"Matthew 5:23–26 tells us we should go to someone if we know they have something against us. Matthew 18:15–20 says we should approach someone if we have something against them. In short, if any relationship has cooled off or has weakened in any way, it is always your move."

Now, truth to life, lets consider a few questions on forgiveness before we move to how in the next post:

1. When you consider not approaching someone who has hurt you what might be some of your reasons? Are those reasons more about self-preservation, having the last word, wanting to have some "upper hand?" OR are there other factors broader than the scope of this blog?
2. Has someone asked you for forgiveness that you simply have not granted? 
1. How's that working for you? Are you finding yourself less bitter and more connected to Jesus by the Holy Spirit's comfort OR more convicted? 
3. The most instrumental piece to consider is this: If all sin creates a debt and it's only solution is the voluntary suffering of Christ; have I sought forgiveness from God, through Jesus Christ's willing sacrifice on the cross for MY SIN? 
1. Secondarily, is there a particular sin that I think is hidden and unknown to God that by  confessing it brings me great shame? IF this is true of you I'm gonna give you a hint... He KNOWS and He STILL LOVES You. 
2. You can find forgiveness! Admit your sin, confess your weakness to live right before God, and ask for His forgiveness TODAY! (Then read Psalm 103 - slowly) 

Loving Difficult People in Difficult Places *Bonus Part 5

Read Romans 8:1-11 and Jonah 4

I've always loved the Bible as much for what God says in it as well as what he doesn't say. Today we'll explore a possibility of Jonah's experience that I am certain a good many of you will be able to relate to. Examples abound that pique the interest and stir the heart for what God could be up to behind the scenes when certain things are left unsaid. This causes me to be expectant. I think thats a good place to be as a follower of Jesus; expectant that our life-invading Savior will tear back the fabric between heaven and earth and step in to our reality (hint: there's not really a fabric separating us from Him, we are the one's who feel distant). 

Doubter. Ok, I will grant you that. Let me share one simple text that speaks to what is left unsaid and how it makes me expectant. In John 18:15-18 we catch up with an impassioned, but conflicted Peter. He finds himself outside the place where Jesus is being illegally detained and questioned. In verse 18 a seemingly useless detail is included. A "charcoal fire" was made and people (including Peter) were gathered around warming themselves. That detail is shared after the critical information is already divulged, Peter had denied Jesus Christ! Fast forward a few days. Jesus has been crucified, raised back to life and appeared to the disciples. Their lives are getting back in to a rhythm as they are fishing. A faint figure can be seen on the shore. As their boat approaches they notice a "charcoal fire" with fish being grilled for their morning breakfast (John 21:9-19). Peter, within minutes of finishing breakfast made from a charcoal fire, is restored by Jesus. One restoration for every denial; three times. Our Lord is complete is He not? Notice that John (the author) included charcoal in both accounts of Peter's denial and restoration.

Here's what Scripture doesn't say. It does not say, "Peter, wrecked internally and longing for the Savior's touch, is weary of his own shame and cannot come in to the presence of Jesus. But then he saw the charcoal fire..." It doesn't say this. Perhaps it is because it isn't necessary. However, have you considered the weight of the charcoal fire and its being mentioned twice in insignificant ways? I think the author is giving us some space to consider: "God meets us in our shame and shows us mercy when what we deserve is judgment."

Why focus so much on this?

Think of Jonah after God finishes the last verse of Jonah 4:1 "And should not I pity Nineveh, that great city, in which there are more than 120,000 persons who do not know their right hand from their left, and also much cattle?" Self-righteous indignation towards others can easily and quickly turn on oneself.

This, friends, is a tool of the Enemy. It is called condemnation. You see, we all look at Jonah (or another self-righteous person) and always see someone else. So its easy to condemn or dismiss or grow indignant. We say, "That prideful wretch, don't they know they are poor, pitiable, blind and naked; weak in the truest sense and needing the mercy of God?" And we cease to love them HOW they need to be loved and pick up a stone to do away with them instead of showing patience.

On the other end of that spectrum is a pride so veiled that the church has essentially ushered it into the very limelight and mistakingly called it virtue. I am talking of the person who simply cannot be kind to themselves. They are a failure and a bag of dirt no matter how you slice it.

I don't recall Jesus dying for a bag of dirt. He had a little art project in the dirt (see John 8) while restoring worth and dignity to a woman who had lost it all. I imagine Jonah was in need of that sort of touch. Perhaps you are in need of that sort of touch from our loving and merciful Lord. I am not saying that all in this boat are pride-filled... I am just saying pride in the truest sense looks inward.

Listen, if you are your own greatest enemy - how's that play out over time? How's that working for you? Does every unmitigated failure of yours somehow make the news banner over your heart and have you believing that God has wasted His time on you? Is the most difficult person to love in your life, You?

Here's how I want to encourage you today... God made you in HIS image. He has entrusted to you the work of bearing witness to His creative and amazing work (Ephesians 2:8-10). It is His blood (on the cross) and Your testimony (of what He did to save and shape you) that causes you to overcome. Now, slowly, methodically, repetitively; read Romans 8:1-11 and ask the following questions:  

1.  If fear's focus is failure; what is FAITH'S focus? 
2. How do I count myself an enemy? 
3. When I fail or struggle with condemnation I am forgetting that "no condemnation" from Him is a standing offer which means that He never tires or grows disgusted of me. Where am I disgusted with myself and my sin? What might be a first step back toward God? What is the "charcoal fire" God is using to show me that he will meet me in my shame, and self-disgust to take me out of it by His hand? 
4. After reading Romans 8:1-11 multiple times... what would tomorrow look like (not the rest of your life, just one day) if I believed and lived as though it were true? 
5. I may be difficult to love but that is a distinction I MAKE, not Jesus, for He loves EVERYONE. (Say that a few times in your heart). Romans 5:8 

Loving Difficult People in Difficult Places (Part 4 of 4)

Read Jonah 4

I knew it. When I was still at home and received the call to come to this god-forsaken place and these god-forsaken people my fear was that He would act according His character. In a striking moment of raw honesty Jonah illustrates that someone can tell the truth of God but entirely lack the love of God. If you ask me, these violent and voracious people didn't even deserve the five word sermon I uttered only days ago. Now look, God isn't even gonna crush them as He 'promised.' Figures (Insert know-it-all and entitled teenage eye-roll).

You see, we must be mindful of mercy so that we don't mind mercy; this will help us love difficult people more than anything else. Let me explain: Like a city train that has various stops you and I can often fall in to the "Jonah-juggernaut," believing God's mercy stop for us was His last. No more stops. No more passengers.

We believe what Jonah records, "I knew that you are a gracious God and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, and relenting from disaster." Though we believe it, we simply don't like others to be the recipients of what we enjoy so freely. That, in and of itself, is to make a mockery of mercy. In an incredibly juvenile display he actually asks for His life to be taken as a result of God showing mercy to the repentant city of Nineveh. Unreal!

Now watch how God responds to Jonah's (and our) use and abuse of mercy. He doesn't condemn, discard, or retract His mercy. Incredible. He instead enters asking questions.

1. “Do you do well to be angry?” (v. 4)
1. Here Jonah's heart is revealed. Jonah 2:8-9 Shows he loves mercy shown to him, but Jonah 4:2 indicates he thinks what God did in response to Nineveh's repentance was evil (see your bible footnote). Seriously? How does that happen? Simple, he forgot the mercy shown to him, so he struggled when it was doled out to others. Here is a question to find if you have mercy-memory loss...
1. Ask: Are low grade anger, defense and excuses tools of my trade (ask someone close to you too answer honestly)?
2. “Do you do well to be angry for the plant?” (v.9)
1. God causes a plant to rise up for shade and then makes it wither. Jonah, returns to juvenile and childish whining actually requesting his life be taken. Wow - this is truly bipolar behavior. When the plant was in place he was "exceedingly glad" (same word as his 'exceeding' anger in 4:1), remove it and he is ready for a coffin and eulogy. Truly Jonah appears petty. How does one move with the Spirit away from petty and toward maturity?
1. Be: The Apostle Paul was in prison, facing certain death, abandoned by many people - yet in Philippians he says that "My God will supply every need of your according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus." He was shrouded in thanksgiving. Being mindful of how God has enriched your life (not only materially, but spiritually, relationally, etc) is critically important. 
3. “Should I not pity Nineveh?” (v.11) 
1. Jonah neither created nor sustained the plant God gave, he only benefited from it. God thought Nineveh was an "exceedingly great city" while Jonah's "exceeding" was gladness over a plant's shade and anger with the request of death over the loss of its shade. God saw people whose repentance and return meant HIS JOY. Jonah saw people whose repentance and return somehow inconvenienced him. 
1. Do: Examine your heart. Daily.

Perhaps this will help in that journey: 

• How can we, who have known and benefited from the mercy of God, be less than merciful toward others? (Rom. 2:4, 1 Cor. 6:11)
• When are we tempted to forget the mercy of God? 
• When I am not “mindful of mercy” how does God’s response to Jonah encourage me? OR read Luke 15:11-32 and explore the Father’s response to the older son.

Finally, watch this: 

Loving Difficult People in Difficult Places (Part 3 of 4)

Read Jonah 3 

In case you were wondering, here's a snapshot of the ancient world of disobedience to God's call. Jonah was intended to go to Nineveh from Joppa but opted for Tarshish instead. (Hint: disobedience still means we run the opposite direction from God and chase what we want).

WASHED UP

Spitting, sputtering, stinking and drip-drying, Jonah's first glimpse of daylight comes on a shore with the silhouette of Nineveh looming ahead. Suddenly the voice of God speaks, "Arise, go to Nineveh, that great city, and call out against it the message I tell you."

Oh, right, head to the city that is known for its evil and simply tell them what you told me? Ok, I guess. I mean, we have all seen what happens if I head the other direction. Seeing how this handy fish just spit me out after angry sailors tried to help me escape obedience through death, Nineveh seems feasible. Jonah ponders for a moment the language God's voice employed.

Did he really say "that great city" (a translator's note indicates this means "a great city to God")? How is it that God could have such affection for such vile sinners as they are? Scarce had the thought crossed his mind when immediately images of him forsaking his call as a prophet, God's truth come what may, flashed vividly; Jonah trembled...

SHORTEST SERMON

Betraying the fact that he simply wants to accomplish the task God has called him to without much fanfare or additional attention Jonah utters a five word (in the original Hebrew) sermon of rebuke. Five Words. I can't finish a sermon in less than 35 minutes (just ask those in my church 😏), but this dude utters five words and a whole city responds with repentance! Ask any pastor, "So, the last sermon you gave, was there city wide revival in which each person examined himself before God and repented of all known sin?"

I don't bet, even if I did I am sure all the establishments are closed, but if I did I would give any amount of money in prediction of the pastor's strong reaction OR even laughter at the ill-formed question. IF people don't fall asleep during our sermons we count it a victory. The reality from the story of Jonah in this third chapter is striking.

Obedience to God isn't always easy, but its always worth it. I imagine Jonah's initial reaction as the king falls prostrate from his throne decreeing a fast accompanied by repentance for the entire city (Jonah 3:6-9)... Eyes wide, palms sweating as the short sermon slips from his lips, his eyes lock the intent stare of a king now humbled. What's Jonah wrestling with in that moment. Well, displeasure and anger (Jonah 4:1). Seems terribly odd considering his recent three day underwater trip by way of mammal.

LOVING DIFFICULT PEOPLE IN DIFFICULT CLOTHING (the king and entire city covered in sackcloth)

Jonah is so enamored with himself that he has already fled God, been chucked overboard, swallowed by a fish, spit up on land and journeyed three days all to be angry that God showed mercy where he thought none should be granted. You see, loving difficult people means that you and I recognize, I am not wise or kind enough to mete out judgement with complete justice. Utter perfection is the only thing that works for total depravity. 

TRUTH TO LIFE

Read Romans 12:18-20

1. Why is God's wrath infinitely better than mine? What drives my wrath? What drives God's wrath? 
2. Think of someone with whom you may presently have a conflict: peace is possible. What part of that possibility depends on you? ie. Is there something you can or should do you are actively avoiding? 
3. Does Jonah seem petty to you (a five word sermon and anger at repentance)? 

Loving Difficult People in Difficult Places (Part 2 of 4)

Read Jonah 2

God's call to Jonah is to love difficult people in difficult places. His call to us is the same. A ship bound for Tarshish OR an overcrowded living room with my own kin; makes no difference to God. Today we will see how one begins to move toward the Call of God... It begins, curiously but not surprisingly when you consider our God, with confession.

Confession is not simply, "Oh crud, I got caught and I am sorry." It literally means, to speak in agreement with.

DARKNESS GOING DOWN

Jonah had hoped to go to an early grave to escape obedience.

The heaving storm, the angry yet terrified sea-faring men, and the gripping realization that "you just can't run from God" all permeate Jonah's mind as the cold water saturates his clothing. In a violent, but now welcome moment what feels like a swirling vortex of water clasps with darkness and immediate silence around him. The stench of half digested plant and marine life sucker punch his sense of smell. He can't see anything so sight is useless. Taste, out of the question; who eats what he cannot see? Everything feels slimy but at least he's alive. The background noises of gurgling and bubbles is like a symphony to his now thankful ears. But the smell, dear gracious, it's awful. 

Instinctively he knows what he ought to do. So in desperation he cries out to his God (Jonah 2:1). I caused this and I know you discipline the one you love (Hebrews 12:6, Proverbs 3:12). There I was sinking as fast as my sin would drown me; but I remembered You (Jonah 2:7).

GRACE RISING

One could almost say that Jonah seemed to begin his confession with a little misinformation, "For you cast me into the deep..."  Unless God manifests as a cursing sailor, odds are Jonah is off his rocker. OR IS HE? More than just a nod to acknowledging the sovereignty of God, he flat out confesses that God threw him in as discipline for his sin. Incredible! The limitless resources of our sovereign God include a large fish, a crew of sailors willing to chuck a complete stranger to his death, and the passage of time all to highlight what Jonah proclaims: "Those who pay regard to vain idols forsake their hope of steadfast love... Salvation belongs to the LORD!" Think on the reality Jonah states so clearly, "...yet you brought up my life from the pit..." This is miraculous grace, transcendent mercy.

Truly the miracle of confession is what happens on the inside. Jonah at this point, is broken. 

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

How do you know if you are broken and ready to follow God's call to love difficult people in difficult places? Well, for starters you are DONE hiding and we all know what that means. Part of being done means you don't care who knows and you are willing to seek help because everything else has failed.

Often we let the merciless response of man control our confession. Remember, confession speaks in agreement... "In agreement with what?" you may ask. Well, in agreement with God. In grace God showed mercy to someone (Jonah) who deserved much worse. How? How is it that a righteous and perfectly just God can do such outlandish things? It would seem that His mercy is predictably present for the humble.

A number of years after Jonah's experience, his story familiar to the Pharisees (self-righteous and pompous spiritual leaders of Israel) they come with a baited statement for Jesus: "Teacher, we wish to see a sign from you." (Matthew 12:38). Wasting no time and no patsy for fools, Jesus summons their attention to Jonah. In effect, "Look, you want a sign and you'll get one. Just as Jonah was in the  fish for 3 days, so will I. Even the reprobate men of Nineveh repented at Jonah's preaching, and they are coming to judge you. You guys are in a heap of trouble if you catch my drift." 

JESUS, JONAH and YOU

Interesting isn't it? Both Jesus and Jonah went willingly (Jonah took a tad more convincing) to follow the call of God. Both felt abandoned. Both were saved and it takes faith to believe both of their stories. However, ONLY ONE tasted punishment unjustly for the sins of others. ONLY ONE wasn't going to the grave as a means of escape. ONLY faith in God's ONE is our means of escape from what the grave promises every human drawing a breath now. Jonah proves I will look out for number one. Jesus rescues those who prefer number one so they can love difficult people in difficult places.

Loving Difficult People in Difficult Places (Part 1 of 4)

Read Jonah 1

Lets be frank as we begin this expose of a little rebellious and self-preserving prophet named Jonah...

He's much more like you than you may be willing to concede. Additionally, what he faced may actually bear more relevance to today than originally meets the eye.

God's call will often be to love difficult people in difficult places (can I get an Amen?). This was Jonah's experience, and he failed... miserably, epically, and repetitively. There, that should do it, you should be of good courage now that you know no Bible character is off limits from the grips of sinful humanity.

Jonah was a prophet asked by the Lord to tell Ninevah that it must turn from its sin or be punished by God himself! Not exactly like waking a teenager at 8am during shelter-in-place with a list of family chores and their school assignments but both would appear to be fairly unwelcome tasks. By examining ourselves in Jonah's story we may find areas we lack trust in God, struggle with His decisions on who and how to love, or ultimately fail to lay our concerns at His feet.

Won't you journey (briefly) along with me as we look at Jonah, and ourselves?

WHERE'S JONAH GOING?

It was a brisk morning and the sun was already climbing in the sky as the port was bustling with excitement. The night before Jonah could hardly sleep a wink. God had clearly spoken to him and he knew he was obligated to obey; but worthless and horrible city of Nineveh hardly seemed worth his time or attention, they were wicked beyond redemption. Conclusively, Jonah stepped up to purchase his fare for a ship sailing to Tarshish, a place that would be 2,000 or more miles away from Nineveh. Perhaps God's presence which dwelt so powerfully in Israel and on King Jereboam II would not follow me here.

It's not long and God's disdain for sin matched by the desire for His children to obey meets with a terrible storm to get Jonah's attention. An omnipresent God (everywhere at once) leads to narrowing options for His children who want to run (see Psalm 139:7-12). "Crud, I knew I never should have told those guys when I boarded the ship I was running from God. Now they are trying to determine whose responsible..."

They angrily, but fearfully quip, "Are you kidding? You worship the god who made everything and didn't think to tell us?" In a moment of brave stupidity Jonah suggests the unthinkable, "Chuck me overboard and things will calm down because I caused all this (1:12)." Imagine the looks between the gruff and salty sailors. Then the accusations back and forth - "If we throw him in and things DO CALM DOWN, wouldn't that mean we are responsible for this man's blood? NO way! I ain't doing it!" 

They finally chuck him over, the sea calms, God appoints "a great fish to swallow up Jonah" and the chapter ends. All in a day's work he has: ignored the call of God, run from his duties, put other lives in peril, managed a partial confession (he told them he was running from the presence of God but not why), and found new lodging inside a very large fish for a 3 day weekend.

Some questions to examine ourselves during this pandemic and in the story of Jonah:

1. Jesus also had a call to love difficult people in difficult places. Matthew 23:36-56 outlines just how opposite Jesus and Jonah were. How did He respond? 
1. Is there a place, person or conversation that you KNOW you avoid? What might God, through his Spirit, be asking you to address today concerning it? 
2. Jesus example was to grieve (Matt. 26:36-38), be vulnerable with his friends and ask them for prayer (Matt. 26:38-41), and talked with His Father about all of it (Matt. 26:36-46). How about you? 
2. Jonah doesn't fully confess why he's fleeing the presence of God. Are you afraid of having something exposed? Times of sheltering-in-place have forced the hand of many of us to confront what has remained hidden. Remember God is patient (Romans 2:4) and honors humility and repentance (Psalm 103:8-11). 
1. Point to Ponder: Jonah, no doubt, considered himself more righteous than the Ninevites. Interesting how the "righteous" are constantly finding themselves upset with God's mercy...

An Unexpected Covering (Part 4 of 4)

Read John 8:2-11

We left off yesterday asking what this immoral woman could learn and what we could gain from this narrative. Let's see what this timeless and timely Man has for our hearts today...

THE SCENE

Standing in the face of the Redeemer, stones laying all around, accusers put to silence and gone; for the first time that day her eyes intentionally meet the gaze of another man.

This feels oddly inviting. It appears I will not be stoned, but now the questions flood my mind. Why? Why me? I was literally having an affair this morning, what makes me 'worthy' of this Man's defense? Um... I hope He speaks first because I don't know what to say. 

"Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?" (John 8:10). "No one, Lord..." She can't believe the answer that just tumbled off her tongue. She looks around again to be certain she didn't lie and add to her guilt. Nope, not a single person remains to condemn.

Shame interrupted. Guilt addressed and overcome. How? Well, there's some foreshadowing going on here. Romans 6:23 indicates that the wages for sin is death. She deserved to die...

...But Jesus... 

The only who could throw the first stone instead took the stone for her. "Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more." Her condemnation would have been just, but Jesus is pointing to a greater truth: the substitutionary atonement - a fancy way to say someone suffers in your place. Beaten, mocked, scorned, murdered on a Cross by the same self-righteous lot looking to (rightly) pass judgement on this woman.

Imagine the woman's internal jubilation. Could there be a more compelling reason to walk in obedience and joy than this?

MERCY UNVEILED

All love is sacrificial. Take children. They are dependent. Totally. The only way they gain independence is if you give up yours. When they’re born you have to take care of them constantly, even when you are exhausted or overwhelmed or sick. You read books to them over and over even when you’re bored out of you mind. Either you make that sacrifice or they’re going to be sacrificed. Either you suffer temporarily and in a redemptive way, or they’re going to suffer tragically in a destructive way.

"Well, thats all well and good," you may say. However, Jesus appears too light on sin here. In fact, this woman gets off scott-free. Interesting conclusion. He encourages greater holiness (go and sin no more). 

"Ok, granted he did call her to greater obedience but what about those Pharisees Jesus says nothing about legalism - the spirit of religion - they constantly practiced." Foiled again by Jesus. Remember, NO ONE CORNERS JESUS. "If any is without sin, let him cast the first stone." They left because they knew James 2:10 to be true, break the law at only one point, you break it all! Even if you are convinced you broke less of the law than me, you still broke it!

Let me propose this: we are all either the Pharisees OR the woman.

1. We rush to judgment and neglect the mercy shown to us (see the older brother in Luke 15:11-32).
2. In our sin God's mercy discovers us and is an Unexpected Covering! 

Let me close this series with a  quote by Scott Sauls:

"What matters more to us—that we successfully put others in their place, or that we are known to love well? That we win culture wars with carefully constructed arguments and political power plays, or that we win hearts with humility, truth, and love? God have mercy on us if we do not love well because all that matters to us is being right and winning arguments. Truth and love can go together. Truth and love must go together."