We approached the pre-operation room with a fair bit of trepidation, who doesn't? But we knew going into that it was going to be a difficult ordeal. "Ok," you say, "its gonna be hard." So, Jessica and I wheel our lovely 5 yr old back to the room and begin to tell her stories. A line of different Dr.s come to see her. You can see it in her eyes and witness her body language. The time is drawing near. Just moments before our daughter goes under the knife to have what later would be known as a "huge" tumor (10 inches x 6 inches) removed she motions for me to come near.
Her tiny little body is covered in blankies and all the comforts we can afford physically while her heart is held up in prayer. As I get right next to her lips - she whispers soft and gently, "Daddy, I don't want to cry." and then she begins to briefly shed a few tears.
Jess and I pray with her, assure her of the Lord's strength in her, and head off to the waiting room. In the next 4.5 hours we worshiped, prayed, cried, read the Word, and kissed doubt, fear and worry goodbye. God's peace enveloped us as we waited to meet with the surgeon.
"Everything went well" was the report - and now we wait for further results of testing (aka, the pathology of the tumor). But the neat part is what follows: Jada woke from surgery and motioned for me to come near again. This time what she whispered warmed my heart further, "I (pant pant pant), LOVE (pant pant), you." Those words made all the tears and all the prayer worth it. But that is not where God desires that it end.
This morning as I sat reading my Bible, and praying while Jada lay asleep and before the onslaught of support (aka - Christian community) came - I had a vision of hope for my daughter (and for that matter, my family).
In Acts 5 the apostles were called into the council and beaten and told not to speak the name of Jesus. I have a vision for my family that says essentially this, "thank you Jesus, that you have counted us worthy of suffering." For it is too easy in times like ours to raise both of hands in anger at God for what appears to be an injustice. But, if we are not careful, having both fists clenched toward the heavens teaches us a one-sided view of suffering and trial. That view, sadly, is all about me (or in this case, Jada). We are encouraged in the Bible to express our anger or frustration with God (clenched fist), but let us not forget to keep the other hand open to receive the blessing from the affliction.
If the Gospel was delivered with great pain to the Lord Jesus (difficult emotionally, and spiritually - not to mention physically) how am I (or Jess, Jada, and Oliver) to expect that God would deliver the truth and depth of the Gospel love he has for me without some level of affliction? The answer: we are not to expect anything less!
In Hebrews 2:10 it says that Christ was made perfect through suffering. You and I are made to resemble Christ MORE as we suffer. Its just not our chosen vehicle.
