Gift vs. Giver: Reflections during the Christmas Season

Gifts are wonderful.

When given at just the right time to an individual who least expects it, gifts can make a deep impact on one's life. They are tangible expressions of love which convey, without provocation, the sentiments of the giver to the recipient. In fact, the very definition of gift communicates this very clearly: "a thing given willingly to someone without payment; a present." 

I will never forget one particular Christmas when I was a young boy. I wanted a BB gun so bad I could taste it. Those pesky pigeons and barn swallows were about to meet their fate. 

The gifts were wrapped and under the tree. What harm could there possibly be in just “bumping” the edge of the gift marked with my name in order to find out if I had gotten what I wanted?

Now that I have my own children, looking back on this episode causes me to reflect on how parenting doubles as training 101 for would-be detectives and law enforcement officers. My father was a decorated veteran of the program. He spotted the tear in the wrapping paper caused "by accident," and I was not awarded the gift for two weeks following Christmas.

A funny thing happened to me internally in the days that followed as the punishment was enacted. Though my parents were under no compulsion to give me the gift, I now was upset with them for having taken it away. Their tangible expression of love, simply because I was their son, was met with juvenile anger and a real sense of entitlement that simply had to be addressed. 

We react this way to God, don't we? We can so easily fixate on His gifts to us that we forget that He is the Giver. This constitutes a life from God viewpoint. We are totally interested in what God has to offer, just not so much in God Himself.

Author Skye Jethani says it this way, 

Everything that lives draws its life from God, and He is the “Father of lights” from Whom comes “every good gift and every perfect gift” (see James 1:17). And Jesus calls us to ask God for what we need. But the life from God posture has a tendency to overemphasize this single aspect of the divine-human relationship. It makes receiving God’s gifts the entirety of our religious (Christian) lives.

He's absolutely right.

In His kindness, God has lavished His love on us (see Ephesians 1). It would be a tragedy for us to miss the Giver because we are preoccupied with His gifts.

I’m reminded of a recent sermon illustration I heard. A young boy loved spending time with his father on their farm. He would climb into the farm truck eager for the presence of his dad. One day his dad asked, "Where we going, son?" Filled with a wonder not yet stained by the world, the young boy replied, "Anywhere, Dad, as long as it’s with you."

We need to have a similar posture toward God. The life with God posture.

This Christmas as you consider the all-encompassing, failure-swallowing, entitlement-obliterating, and totally undeserved LOVE of God in Christ, here are some questions for around the dinner table or in your personal time with Jesus:

1. What are you most looking forward to when you think about eternal life WITH God? (If your answer is lack of sickness, a gold mansion, or any other benefit that's not the presence of God, then He may be addressing the gift vs. Giver reality in your heart.)
2. How does meditating on the character of the Giver help your faith remain strong (or even grow) when trials arise?
3. Have I overemphasized any possessions or relationships to the point that they interfere with my relationship with God? Have I allowed any of His blessings to become an idol, instead of reminding me of God's lavish love for me?

Shaken, not stirred

I remember it like it was yesterday. A memory tattooed in the annals of my mind; a sweet but bitter providence I can not ignore as I reflect...

The February cold was the stuff of novels and the fatigue I was experiencing was breaking me. Our daughter lay in the hospital enduring chemo and radiation for the cancer that had only been recently discovered. I had come home to sleep one night and was relieved to see my wife and two sons. Our youngest son now not even a month old and our eldest son was two years old.

If you're a parent you know the cry those infants make. No barrier can totally insulate one from the destitute nature of those wails for help. We (Jess and I) had decided he would have to wait to eat again and all other signs (clean diaper, etc) pointed to him being just fine. Yet he screamed in the small pack-n-play at the foot of our bed. I tried and checked everything. In final desperation I lay on the floor with my face down, my eyes dispensing a salty flow of sadness and pain, and with my mouth I uttered the following prayer to God... (disclaimer: if you have a high opinion of me in my "holiness" you will likely to be disappointed if you read on) I said...

"Won't you f#!$*ing relent, just relent! I can't take any more..."

Ever been there? I mean, not specifically with the circumstances I'm describing, but with the desperation and hopelessness that results from what feels like an absolute breaking process - all managed by a seemingly maniacal God?

Peter, one of the least stable disciples (which is why I think I identify with him), was going to have a moment like I described above; he would be shaken (or sifted). Luke 22:31-34 unpacks the scene succinctly.

What is shaking or sifting and why is it so scary for us? (as it was for Peter) It is a purging and sifting process. It distills lesser loves to reveal that which WILL carry you through the lean times. I venture that most of us are fearful of these experiences because of what they may reveal about our "go-to's" for comfort; those things or relationships we think we simply CANNOT live without. Or coming at it from a different and potentially more violent angle... We fear what God may ask us to give up. "Really Lord, you think its wise and good to take the life of my daughter..."

Note the mercy of Jesus. He doesn't abandon Peter. Jesus also doesn’t pray for escape but fortitude (Luke 22:32).

The purpose for Peter's shaking was to strengthen the brothers (meaning establish the church and fill the destiny God had on his life) and it actually happened because everyone reading this today who is part of a local body of believers is indirectly the result of his sifting.

Our God is a Consuming Fire (Heb. 12:29) and will have every part of us from the highest hair on our head to the longest nail on our toe if we are to be effective for His Kingdom. The writer of Hebrews sheds light on an often dark and bleak subject when he says,

This phrase, 'yet once more,' indicates the removal of things that are shaken-that is, things that have been made-in order that the things that cannot be shaken may remain.  

I'm so glad that God didn't relent when I asked but instead supplied His Spirit to confirm that I have a kingdom that cannot be shaken. It didn't come easily or in a moment though. There were (and are) many things the Lord is shaking or sifting in me in order that what cannot be shaken remains.

You see - stirring just won't get the job done. I need more. You need more. Consider asking yourself some questions to embrace and not escape shaking or sifting:

1. Is there a particular area of weakness, need or frustration that continues to be pressed on by those close to me (spouse, family, co-workers, friends)? How am I responding? Where do I run? 
2. Is there an ongoing trial, chronic health issue, spiritual weightiness, or otherwise trying time that has been longstanding and seemingly unchanged despite your efforts in prayer? Do you find yourself discouraged and ready to throw in the towel instead of leaning into wrecking ball prayer (a term recently introduced to me communicating relentless pursuit - see Luke 18:1-8)?

Be reminded and encouraged this day:

• Our Father is Good and gives Good gifts to His children who ask, not sparing ANYTHING (Rom. 8:31-32) 
• Our Father is about your development for deployment NOT destruction unto death (Read Luke 22:31-34; John 21:15-25 - maybe another blog post if enough people comment they'd like to see how Jesus restores). 
• Our Father's power and wisdom are unmatched and not naturally perceived or received (I Cor. 1:18-31) 

Take the time to share (if you like) how this impacted you or if you'd like clarification.